Hope out of ashes

By taking a walk in the neighborhoods of Athens, there are several things that one can readily notice about people:

1/ sorrow on their faces

2/ a tendency for show-off

3/dissatisfaction

4/ a weak human core

5/ the sport of complaining about everything

7/ criticism

I am thinking that I am not going to react superficially, I won’t start judging, but instead, I will go deeper; and what do I see? I see how lonely and desolate, how desperate for love and attention the individual of today is; and all this embellished with the excuse “there is the crisis going on”! Is the crisis to blame in reality? Or does it dominate our mind and the way we perceive things?

I am addressing you who has money and doesn’t know what to do with it, or you who is trapped in a marriage, or you who must carry the burden of choosing (not always consciously) a job that doesn’t please you, but still, you will spend your life doing it…Isn’t it about high time you decided to move energy around by changing whatever it is that doesn’t make you happy?

I am addressing you who can easily spend money on unnecessary shopping, on habits that fortify your ego and your loneliness, while, at the same time, you criticize and consider everyone as inferior. Isn’t it about high time you put as a priority to discover yourself, to find out what true happiness is for you and realize what it is that you can and you cannot do? In other words, to accept yourself.  

I am addressing you, aged between 20 and 30 years old, who can still make choices with less pain and cost, as compared to those older than you. Isn’t it about high time you quit this “rebellious” meaningless stance? Instead of smashing things, how about helping in reconstructing? Instead of getting angry, how about learning about the virtue of forgiveness and understanding? And also, instead of spending your parents’ money and pretending that the social process doesn’t concern you, how about using all this wonderful energy of yours in order to improve yourself and the society you live in?

How is it possible that the most important thing is to constantly fix “appearances”? Shopping, gym, socializing, going out, beauty; I understand that all these can offer pleasure and satisfaction. We derive happiness when we attract the interest of the opposite sex thanks to our seductive body and our lifestyle. Why can’t people see though that all these things at the end of the day make them feel incompetent, shallow and stressed out regarding their appearances and capabilities? Let’s show off and show off more, let’s take and take more…Who starts the day by saying “how will I do the best I can for myself today, for my fellow human being, for my employees, for the company I am working for, for my family, for the environment, for my country?”

Throughout the above, one can also identify some of the causes that led us to these “amazing” societies of today where we live in: the quest for happiness through external factors was our reality, a reality that thankfully seems to fade out! That explains why we feel like losing the ground under our feet.

The crisis is not entirely financial. To a great extent it is related to our individuality and a profound search of who we are. The ones who will be faced with serious transformations very soon are weak people, those suffering from serious addictions and an internal void, guided solely by their sensations, their Ego and material stuff. On the contrary, the crisis has not upset the foundations of those who always had as a priority to discover themselves.

An individual playing the role of the victim, the miserable or the whiner, for instance, was like that even before the crisis and will continue to be even if someone miraculously resolved all his/her issues. A person who smiles at a passer-by will do so, regardless of whether he/she has money in the pockets or has a reason or not to do it.

In fact, bliss is a way of living!

My view about what happiness is all about and the keys to opening up all the doors in my life are as follows:

Learn who I am and love myself

Flow in life and take it just the way it is revealed to me every day

(Having said that, if you read between the lines you will realize that there are many more notions hidden here)

Let’s try on a daily basis to see the Good side of people.

Let’s try on a daily basis to improve ourselves by stepping out from our Ego and our individuality – uniqueness

Let’s try on a daily basis to make only positive thoughts and projections for ourselves

Let’s see who we are by examining our choices up to now, by looking at our friends and our family in the eyes and by undertaking finally our share of responsibility, in all respects!

I firmly believe in people…

I see the good aspect underneath the surface that you insist on projecting. I can see the pain and loneliness that you don’t even want to face and I feel compassion in my heart…The burden that each one of us is carrying is different, but, deep down we are all looking for love.

Let’s tune in to the New Era that is rising; it has arrived; have no doubt about this. It is just its manifestation to the real world that is being delayed.

Do not believe that the image that you are projecting is enough to be happy; it’s a pity…

On the contrary, let the glorious being that you have inside you come out on the surface and get to know it…this is who you are and along with this glorious being-yourself, that is -  you will lead your life…and I admire you and respect you for all that.

Namaste

Speaking of therapy

Therapy occurs in levels we cannot imagine and in ways we cannot be aware of; ways that we cannot define in advance, but only the moment we are consciously ready, or not, to accept therapy. There are many people who - especially during periods of recession - develop serious symptoms of stress and illnesses.

We have really strayed from this unique harmony between body and spirit. Sometimes therapy is about forgiving, acceptance and clearing. The way we breathe, the awareness of what we are or who we are not, the apprehension of our surroundings and the realization of our Source/ our Creator, are all things that cause some load displacement within us, guiding to therapy.

Therapy is our desire to change and through that you are already half-way to the end result. Change is the proof that we want to escape lethargy and the deceiving dream in which people live and have not even suspected that there might be something beyond it. Therapy is not about someone getting hair in one day or having money fall from the sky. Out of experience, I can only make assumptions about the levels of therapy…Where to start from…the karma level, the level in our DNA, our system of beliefs, the protection mechanisms that our body has activated which eventually, though, lead to illness as well (in other words, to the  blocking of energy inside us), remedy for our spiritual level, healing of our traumatic experiences…these are all examples, are all causes leading to the outbreak of some disease, whether mental or physical.

Everything resides inside us; both good and bad. It is a matter of choice where I decide to place my attention. All the answers and the therapy I need are hidden inside me, but, are in latency (=are dormant). It is silly for someone to believe that healing will happen by following the same pattern in life. Capabilities do not unlock by watching TV, eating junk, neglecting one’s temple – the body that is - , not exercising spirituality, having constant feelings of fear and worries, obeying to the mind and being prey to emotions, fears, hormones and urges. It is simply silly. Healing has never happened this way and I am not sure if it will ever happen following that route. Whomever seeks therapy - even unaware of where, how and why to do so – should just express the intention consciously and remain open to receive it. Then, change will come. Observe! Then, masters/therapists/all those who will lead the way will come. It is up to us to let go of fear and become part of this process…proving that, indeed, we wanted to receive therapy.

Reiki – A tool of enlightenment for our evolution at all levels

Now, more than ever before, the planet needs us. Many people are hoping for the change, while, others believe it will never come. Several are still trapped in the big sleep, while some others believe deep in their heart, that if you show trust, it all happens to the benefit of our Higher Good, and that everything IS exactly the way it should be.

I would like to elaborate on the tool named Reiki, as I believe that there is a need for people to get informed,   to take responsibility of their life, wake up from the big sleep and escape from fear. For this cause, all of us that work on human nature, we have opened up our horizons of self-knowledge in order to achieve deeper levels of therapy, regardless of the tools one uses during the process. We are all united. (This article accompanies an original article that can be found at the following link: http://humanstasis.blogspot.com/2011/03/reiki.html).

Reiki

Helps in deep self-knowledge and the elevation of the Soul to higher levels

Enlightens all our aspects and facilitates us to accept them through time and in a manner that is appropriate for each one of us

Releases the capabilities of our mind and body, as written down on our DNA code

Enlightens all that stems from the SELF and empowers the effort of humans to gradually get rid of behaviours that derive from fear

Allows the return to the SOURCE, the spirit, the WHOLENESS, the US

Assists the opening up of the heart

Clarifies and sets straight all the misconceptions that lie in our mind distorting our reality and restraining our ability to attract possibilities that are out there waiting for us

Helps us attract all the opportunities and realize our ideas, as it all depends on energy, and, we are in New Energy

Promotes positiveness and the elimination of fixations, that are usually negative and obsessive

Achieves unification and contact with our Higher Self, our inner world

When one observes that human pain to a large extent is attributed to information that stems from the SELF and the mind, then, it is obvious that the suffering comes from a wrong system of convictions upon which one’s life is based. Therefore, by enlightening and clearing up these convictions, then each one of us has the ability to attract better things in life. By opening up the heart and illuminating these fears, an individual can be happier every day, and, can start again to believe in oneself, led by the divine sparkle that everything is possible.

This method does not work through the mind, but, through love, light and the heart. This is why we learn to feel and not to think. We have been thinking all our lives, and, actually, we have been trained to think so extensively, just like perfect robots do. But, when it comes to the heart, we are all still at kindergarten! We are all possessed by fear, power, rivalry, pain, selfishness and behind all this, there is constantly a voice well-fostered by society, the system, our parents, our social environment and our experiences – watch out!!!   As a result we all live in fear.

Who can be certain enough to say that his or her heart is expressed with honesty, integrity and consistency? Can one be sure that the games that the SELF plays are put aside in order to protect us? There are some people that have the inherent ability to do so easily, as compared to others. For the rest of us that this has not been a natural outcome, there is therapy, in the form of help by acquiring all the necessary tools that one needs in order to lead his or her own way of personal development.

It is necessary to open up our hearts and look at the world through a different view. Through the eyes of a child that has no bitterness, anger or second thoughts. A gaze of innocence and compassion. Of forgiveness and love.

Note: I would like to clarify that the role of the therapist is supportive and not invasive or manipulative with the excuse of therapy. On the contrary, it is all about the concordance between the Higher Self of the person under therapy, the Higher Self of the therapist and the Spirit. This method has proven to be totally safe without any counter-indications. In the highest spiritual level, everything takes place in a natural and almost “magic “way. 

Namaste!

LIght    Love    Gratirude

Many “thank you” and “well done”

A walk around Gazi (Athens) was what it took for these thoughts to nest in my heart…

In this article, I will say a lot of “thank you” and “well done”. It is usually easier and it seems normal to judge and criticize, even if this is considered “constructive criticism”. This type of criticism also hides some sort of arrogance, a characteristic of all that lies within us to some extent; so, I decide to step out of this.

Looking in the eyes of my fellow human beings, I get really emotional. Disappointment, numbness, sorrow, anger, oppression are just a few of the easy to trace signs written on the faces of Greeks lately, and especially on those of Athenians. At the same time though, I get emotional when I realize that no one gives up, hope is all out there and all bright…it is so lively that it takes very little for our heart to beat strongly again. Well done to all of us that we keep trying and we are not being discouraged, although people of our generation in other countries are better off… and if some are not doing this already, it is a matter of time to start. I observe the change in conscious thinking that all of us are going through, slowly and steadily.

I am very proud of all these souls that we have decided to reincarnate in, exactly at the moment of this planetary change, which does not emerge painlessly, but comes “on a natural flow”. We are all aware of the fact that the situation in terms of injustice, exploitation, lack of compassion, cruelty, disgrace and the rest I need not to mention, has reached a dead end. At this point, I am not referring to Greece solely, but, to the entire world. Do not fool yourselves, we are all swept by change, whether this is obvious or not…

Our generation is characterized by weakness, superficiality, insecurity, fear of everything, lack of training for body, mind and soul, individualism. How is it possible not to be proud of all of us, that, despite all of the above, we insist on fighting with weapons that were never given to us, with ways we were never instructed to use? How is it possible not to recognize the effort of all us to look for truth and knowledge NOW with any means it takes?

Well done to all the unemployed people that do not give up. They smile again and they enjoy themselves with the little they have. They are giving it a shot…Well done to all those that fall in love, as if they have never been hurt before…I am very pleased to see you all not getting trapped into your own personal drama, but, instead learning to deal with it in a way to make the most out of it. I am very proud for all the volunteering acts that I encountered today at this festival in the centre! I am pleased that you are part of me and I am part of you!

Dear reader, it takes a lot of courage to gaze at the future with OPTIMISM when everything around you falls apart, when all your external sources that used to be your feeding point and your point of reference are collapsing, when everyone around you is at a weaker vibration than you (lower energy in other words), when your reality does not consist of quality and happiness anymore, but instead, is represented by a bunch of unpaid bills on the table. Yes, it does take courage when you are under pressure, and, you still manage to rise higher in terms of your spirituality and confidence.

Only people who have been through difficulties and decided not to run away but instead stay and experience this magical journey of life, can better cope through these times of imbalance.

One of the most impactful issues that contemporary people have come to face is the deconstruction of the EGO and the consequences of it, that have intruded their existence unconsciously and their daily life consciously. I am referring to the bitter and often stressed-out deconstruction of systems, like religion, politics, family of course, friends, but mostly the expectations that people used to grow up with, like respect towards the individuality of others and ourselves, the relationship with the opposite sex, the relationship with our children and the responsibility towards them that is greater than ever. The realization that what I have taken for granted up to now, DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE. The realization that I must make my choices consciously, regarding everything and everyone. The realization that the responsibility for whatever happens to me at all levels (visible or not), is in my hands only. It takes courage to leave behind all the armor that we used to wear and move along all naked and exposed, having as our sole weapon the endless confidence in oneself and its Divinity. 

Human dynamics is abysmal; all it takes is to push the right buttons to release it. It takes boldness to get into the trouble to unlock the doors and cross to the other side as this may involve losses and unsettling situations. Well done to all of you that give it a shot with your heart wide open! It takes a lot of courage to embrace your dark side and confront your daemons, no matter where they come from.

It takes guts to persist and have faith in you, and not become the instrument of others’ needs and control, led by external factors and fear.

It takes a lot of strength to dive into the Void, your only parachute being the confidence in you and the perception that everything happens to empower your evolution, and, therefore things are the way they should be.

Treat yourself nicely every day, reward yourself; fear is not our natural state of being, we can and we deserve to be better off and live in a state of bliss. And as Gandhi has said “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Breathe, you are alive; there is no greater gift than this.

I feel proud that I am part of you, that you are my family in one way or another. I am with you during our entire journey.

Devoted to us and to New Energy.

Forgiveness

When seeing the title of this article, one might think that the focus will be on relationships between people. No. I have decided to stir us emotionally and write a few words about forgiving Our Self.

People are divided into two categories: those who believe that it is always someone else’s fault and those who believe it is all their fault. In both cases, I think we have not managed to love our self enough. When it is always the others’ fault and we feel that everyone owes us and we get caught up in all these arrogant and selfish behaviors, it means that we have not taken care of our personal issues with love, out of fear of what might come on the surface after digging deep in our self. In other words, people acting this way have not bothered discovering who they really are. The second case doesn’t need much analysis: the pattern of guilt overshadows everything; a very nice combination of guilt, self-punishment, lack of faith - confidence and self-value, indifference, depression and anger.

I always make the comparison of this situation with the following: it is as if having two kids, one being the “good child” and the other the “black sheep”. What do we actually do? Kick out the child that doesn’t do what pleases us and therefore not recognize it as our child (= as part of us)? Our self is US. It is no good rejecting our self, failing to forgive our weaknesses, omissions, bad habits, indecencies and obsessions. In other words, nothing good will come out if we keep projecting more resistance to what we are, as this way we enforce our energy regarding all the things we don’t like (as this is our focus), and we make the situation worse as we feed it with elements of criticism, self-punishment, disappointment, pessimism, guilt, disdain and more.

Being able to forgive oneself for all the things that one has done or hasn’t done, that used to do, thinks of, is able for or doesn’t want to do (while he/she should), for one’s desires, dreams, needs, passions, character defects, life choices up to now, for the fact that he/she cannot end or begin a situation and many more, is maybe one of the most important aspects of self-therapy. It is so liberating, that almost every breath that one takes after forgiveness has taken place, feels different than before.

During our life, we definitely have the tendency to leave behind some things that do not work for us anymore. We are definitely evolving and we are not the same person that we were yesterday – not to say, a few years ago. Do you know something though? It is such a relief to make peace with yourself, forgive and be grateful for all the things that have accompanied your journey and you have now left behind. You must consciously realize that: “It was me who chose to experience the situation I am going through now in order to learn more about myself and get a lesson. I am responsible for my choices every single moment. I love myself and forgive myself”.

Simply put, to make mistakes and have weaknesses (for instance), it means that I still have some needs that I ought to confront. By resolving these first, I will be able to fulfill my goals, whatever it is I want to become and wherever I want to find myself, in a faster and easier manner. Besides, there is no right or wrong. It is all experiences. I understand that some mistakes can leave a mark on our life, but, sometimes it might not be too late to fix them, forgive our self for simply being “human” with all our imperfections (as this is the grandeur of  human nature where perfection is hidden within imperfection) and for the fact that we are constantly evolving. As far as I know, nobody was born “enlightened”.

We all have the right to make mistakes. And we will have it till we die. Let’s hope that we will have people around us that can help us move forward and can forgive us and love us (the way we do respectively).

Summing up, I would like to remind us that whoever has the ability to love oneself, can also love the people around him/her and whoever can forgive oneself can forgive as well those who have hurt him/her.

We are all the manifestation of the One, Me is You and You is Me.

Light Love Gratitude

The situation is as such:

You can sit around and cry all day long, feeling miserable and letting your precious moments turn to memories of the past; you can be full of hatred, anger and rage without being able to find some peace of mind; you can pretend to be all apathetic and indifferent, while in reality you are frightened to be the next one to be exposed; you can be a vegetable in front of your TV, allowing a slow death of your mind; you can be swept away by a herd in fear and panic. But, you can also LIVE in all respects, flow smoothly in life, give love, learn and evolve through all your everyday experiences; you can be grateful for the truly essentials: having two arms and two legs; having the privilege to feel sad, to choose, to fall in love, to get hurt, to fall and still be healthy in order to stand on your feet again.

THE CHOICE IS YOURS. NOONE WILL MAKE IT FOR YOU.

This is a message bursting with love for my fellow human being, as well as with compassion and respect for our human nature. Everything is out there for humans to deal with, and, we definitely go through, sentiments that work as lessons for the present and the future.

“A river’s water adapts to its possible flow, without ever forgetting its end goal: the sea.

Weak at first at its source, little by little it gains strength thanks to the other rivers it finds on its way. And from that moment on, its power is absolute”. – The Manual of the Warrior of Light / P.Coelho

Mummy, when will I grow up?

The story of our adult adulthood

Over the last few years I get the feeling that the challenges which unfold before us are increasing and we are working towards understanding ourselves faster than ever. As a result, we get tired and we often want to give up or, to rephrase, simply want to enter into a “survival” rhythm of living, in order to just get passed the day.

Life has wonderful secrets and gifts to offer us generously, and we can’t enjoy them. Why is that?

 The conscious choice

Two roads open as we become more conscious of our evolution and our path.

On one road we are fully or partially in the child’s position, i.e. we are still minors. This automatically puts us in the victim’s position, which is why we feel powerless. My power is outside of me, someone else is managing it.

Take a moment to feel this, it’s there...

The part inside of me that is still a child is waiting from an external source, someone else to give it his rights, to nourish it, to take it somewhere, guide it, to give it the platform he needs to be able to respond. It needs someone to give him value – attention – show interest, someone to love him... We have given these responsibilities to our nursing parent among all his other roles, to the school, to our partners, to the state, to our friends, to our boss and, the latest trend, to our Guru – savior, although the system of religion – church has always been playing this role as well. All of them being external sources. Therefore we were deceived and haven’t learnt to look within us. The maximum distraction.

Who am I?

We are an angry and confused community of people. With many complaints and a lot of bitterness. An a lot of drama also. It is no coincidence that we have an increase in autoimmune diseases and cancer. Everything is also associated to our psychology.

We request from the state to show us pour value and it does NOT accept it. We feel constantly unjust.

We seek love from our partner, but we live in the era of disposable marriages and easy break-ups. (Do you know how many marriages and relationships would have been saved if both sides practiced self-knowledge? If they understood that we are all Creators of everything? Also, how many marriages would have been freed from one another in a more decent way?)

We ask for guidance from all types of groups, but both, them and their representatives are all blinded from the power and strength the love and weakness of the people gives them.

We need the courts to help us find our rights, we need the state to help us fix our lives, I need you help me not feel lonely and to give me my worth. 

Here, I would like to also add the existence of God as an outside source, to whom I have to pray and ask him to do what I want him to. But somewhere inside me I have hidden anger about the world I live in and “how God allows this to be”. And also, anger, that God outside of me, doesn’t do something for me, and the feeling of injustice is perpetuated.

Therefore?

Therefore we are educated in a passive-aggressive behavior pattern. We are a generation that likes to change the world through online media and TV. We have not learnt healthy Action. We have been oppressing our feelings for years and they suddenly burst out clumsily and unintelligibly sometimes or with diseases in other cases.  

 The other road is the one towards self-realization and self -awareness.

I will find the way to give myself what I need.

I will empower to become my own mentor.

I will take ownership of myself and the overall responsibility of my life.

I choose to live in the light of joy and avoid the allure of drama.

I vindicate of myself, my right in joy, in love, in abundance.

Seeking integration into Myself.

My action is active and begins from my own Self and my Behavior.

I check the energy footprint that I leave on this planet.

I check my thoughts, my feelings and my actions. Not easy. And yes, it is knowledge conquered in a lifetime.

Feel it...

I learn to trust myself and to serve my right to live.  There is nothing better than knowing yourself and loving him. The reward is the Awakening and the awareness of the Creator that you are, the Divine part of you, the Oneness. Only then the One that I am becomes easily Together. Only then we will have harmonic and complete relations with our neighbour, the state, the environment. When two people are treated as autonomous systems that want to share their selves and co-exist, these relations are clear and with potentials of longevity. All kinds of relationships.

I do not beg to God, but I Thank Him! I am not a victim, but I Act. My action begins with the recognition of what I have every day, who I am, for every challenge that makes me become a more cultured species, for every person that comes in his way to teach me something. To me, The Student and Teacher of my Self!

This planet can and will do better. Thanks to us!

Light Love Gratitude

Roula Papathanassiou

@Human Stasis

Thai healing massage

Reiki Master

Meditation

Seminars

Unity

Here are some thoughts of mine…

I am sitting in a little shop waiting for my food to come.  A couple is sitting next to me and we talk for a while. In a foreign country you talk practically to everyone. Soon I realize that the lady is suffering from Parkinson as her head and her hands are in a constant state of instability. She was a truly beautiful lady, around her 60s, fully taking care of herself.

All this made me feel an even greater sympathy. I pictured her as a young girl experiencing the adventures of love, without probably ever imagining that later on she would fall ill this way.

I was thinking how arrogant we can be as human beings. We believe that we will be forever young and attractive and we consume ourselves in futilities of all sorts. How will I look more beautiful, how will I feel safer, how will I become richer…and honestly it doesn’t cross our mind that at some point me might fall ill and we will stop being beautiful and adorable. We don’t realize that by the end of our life what matters is definitely not the number of degrees we have collected, the fortune we have made and the career we have pursued. I think that in the end, I want to go with my heart tranquil and with a feeling of bliss that I had the chance to experience paradise on Earth. As long as I live, I want to train myself for the passage at the other side of the veil…

Have you ever wondered what will you do with all your money, your belongings and your beauty, if you end up at some point completely alone?

Forgiveness. I want to stop judging others that bother me, instead of being grateful that they constitute a projection of myself and they give me the chance to enlighten my dark sides. I want to grow through love and not through stubbornness and anger.

I want to get to know myself. I want to talk to myself more. To find out what is it that scares me or hurts me and manage to smile every time I realize that once again I am thinking, I am judging, I am getting angry, I am getting afraid…yes, I will smile every time I realize all these. I know how much I damage myself and my body every time, every moment I am in disharmony.

I want to expand my talents and talk to my neuroses. Why should it be so difficult for a human to be on his/her own and fill time with people and activities? Who knows me better and can understand me better, though, than myself when we get to know each other? Who consoles me and excuses every need of mine? I am referring to our true self and not the one that is being controlled by our hormones and the “want, think, like” pattern.  This is probably why it is so difficult to comprehend me, to move beyond this point and see what remains in the end and who I really am. How easily I forget, how easily I tumble back to my old habits and behaviours. My progress though is marked not by how far I still need to go, but, by the distance I have already covered.

I am proud of myself, I love myself, I forgive me for my human weaknesses and I steadily express my intention to evolve. I love myself and I feel unity with everyone around me, I love myself and I love all the people around me.

Whatever is outside is inside me as well, whatever is up there is also down here. And that’s the way it goes…

            

I want you, you don’t want me…I cling to you.

How weird…it hasn’t happened to anyone…no one has done it…yeah, sure! There is no reason to be ashamed; we have all been through some phase in our life when the object of our desire doesn’t correspond and we cling to it more and more, following a slow self-destructive mode. For some of us, this can also become a way of life regarding our approach towards the other gender. I have heard friends saying that they still remember after years a person that have hurt them deeply and for whom they can still trace some signs of adoration. In other cases, when our partner splits up with us, only then do we decide to “become what the other person wanted us to be” and we suffer, we do everything it takes to win him/her back, and, if that happens, we then turn back to this amazing self of ours that has led to the separation. So many relationships based on the spicy sweetness of this endless chase and this continuous search for reassurance…so much energy lost!

Have you ever wondered “why”? Have you observed yourself to check if this has become a way of life for you?

Healthy relationships are based on love:  the two-way, true and least possible selfish love; the love mostly towards our self that allows us to feel fulfilled and give the best we can to our partner; the love of forgiveness mainly towards our self that lets us forgive our partner as well; the love where we have eventually accepted our self in order to be able to fully accept our partner too.

The case in our days of “yes, I want you, but, it’s not possible, I cannot do it, it’s not the right timing” is becoming more and more frequent and worrying at the same time. What’s going on then with this generation that it is now required to deal with sentiments the way it has inherited them from its parents? A generation that is also asked to confront a society that more than ever unsettles it, makes it feel angry and guilty, lets it jobless and upsets its reality?

Here are some things that from time to time I have thought of how someone can stop clinging to some ghost from the past and move on with his/her life:

Love your self; nobody will do it for you. All other sources are there probably because you are filling in their gaps, and, once you stop, they will not love you anymore. You should try to light up your glorious self, avoiding external vampirism. Once this happens, only then will you be able to experience healthy relationships.

Forgive yourself for mistakes you have made and move on. That simple. Just allow a switch of mind.

If a person is worth to stay in our life, that’s the way it will be. No matter what, even if we do nothing he or she will be there for us. Just like that. It is not beauty or doing your best that matters; if the other person wants you and there is chemistry between you, then, all the rest is a matter of human behavior.

Do not waste your precious energy on someone that is not for you. Look deep inside you to find out who you are, what is it that you want and then evaluate the situation.

Locate the wrong perceptions that you carry along. Most probably, the person that you want and who doesn’t want you has mirrored your dark side and has obviously hurt your ego. It is all about fictional systems of beliefs that have been dominating all our life and designate the chemistry with each person. Some good examples of these systems are the following: the syndrome of the good child, the ideal woman or man that our family and our society has instructed us to look for, the “must/want to get married and must have a child” case, the “hunter and warrior” syndrome, the sentiments of “I don’t deserve to be loved” and “I am not of any worth and through you I feel that I have a life and I have a value”, the perceptions of “I will end up alone” or the competitive behaviors of “I must have a beautiful woman by my side so that they can envy me” and many more.

Ask yourself: is this the energy you really want to have in your relationship with this person? Even when you will be together, once you get your reassurance, you will get bored and walk out, which I sense is all a pattern within you.

It is not real!!!! Beautiful relationships have a daily routine. And allow me to add, that, if it was something so real, wouldn’t you have appreciated it earlier on?

In effect, accept that it is over; the loop has closed beautifully and the situation reached an end. The end! Our life goes in circles and they all come to an end at some point. I am not saying they cannot be rekindled…but, even if they do, for a situation to last there must be some catharsis, some change in the energy between the two of you in order for the relationship to be set on a new foundation.

To stay on track, here is also an energy-related explanation: you might have a relationship based on karma that needs to be cleared up, meaning that you might be carrying energy charged karmas. But, even if you clear them up, it is free will that prevails, which means that if we do not work with our self, no miracle will take place.

On the other hand, those of us that feel more secure to invest on relationships that are built on competition and rejection in order to keep the interest of our partners alive, then, let’s admit that we are far more insecure compared to those that decide to jump into the fire even if they get burned.  Let’s not also forget that, what you give is what you get. Mainly though, wasn’t it maybe about time that we exposed to the other person the grandeur of our heart in its bare form, hoping that the other person will love us for what we truly are and not for the image that we project? What a relief!

It might seem that this is all related to rational thinking, while in reality, the issue lies in our heart. Therefore, what does logic have to do with something which nests in our heart? Right. Still “clinging to someone” to which we are referring to here, is actually related to the mind, our perceptions and our shortcomings. It has nothing to do with the heart.

To all those people that have made us spend sleepless nights every now and then, we owe them a big “thank you” as without them we would have never gotten the chance to explore ourselves, enlighten the wrong systems of beliefs that we carry and eventually move on, through a healthier perception, to better relationships; relationships that make us better individuals.

Unconditional Love without Attachment

Nowadays, the issues of “Love” and “Attachment” come up more and more, and therefore, therapists sooner or later are asked to deal with these.

It is important to talk about a “solid core” which is necessary in order for someone to observe and improve oneself. This core is crucial to our existence as it helps us have as much energy as we need by ourselves and be happy in our centre as often as possible.

Everything begins and ends within us. What others do is of collateral importance. Action-Reaction is what usually underlies a relationship, and, therefore I will not focus on this. What is of interest to me is what is inside me. I am interested in finding out why I let myself cling to others or to situations (attachment). I am interested in observing why is it, that when things don’t go as planned, I automatically sink into rejection, self-pity and defeat. These are the secret keys that our Ego uses to unlock our obsessions.

Attachment stems from human needs and feeds on personality weaknesses. So, is it, that deep down, we like depending on something or someone? The answer is yes, as this is from where we pump the energy we are missing or where we find the excuses we need in order not to evolve.

We are almost all deep into attachments. Of all kinds. Attachment to our partner, to our family and kids, to work, to material possessions, to substances, to ideas, to our professors and many more.

In Buddhism, it is clearly stated that the source of human problems is the attachment to material goods and passions. This article revolves around the latter one. Attachment means focusing on the energy of a result and of action/reaction. Attachment means to desire someone but only under your conditions, to love this person only if he/she fits in the boxes you have in your head, to want only a specific result out of your relationship with this person and to fail having things work out between you two in a different framework from what you have preset. And as much as you cannot achieve what you want, the more and more you get obsessed, leading to self-defeat and eventually to the trendy disease of our times - depression.

Unconditional love is a feast of joy.

I will try to make this energy more specific through inanimate words, and, I hope that one understands that this is a lesson I will be experiencing and that I will be trying to comprehend as long as I live. Therefore, even today that I am writing this article, I am just attempting to approach this issue, and that’s about it.

Love, is selfless. It means to love, appreciate and respect the other person for his/her whole being, to wish him/her well, to feel happy when he/she is happy, even if - and this is where the trap lies- this person is not with you, doesn’t give you what you desire or doesn’t behave as you want (at this point a lot could be discussed about whether we, ourselves, know what we truly want, whether we behave correctly and so on and so forth).

It is not about parental love. Allow me to say, that, our parents adore us indeed, but, in many cases, they are the first who, unconsciously, plunge us into guilt, manipulate us and in fact may not accept us for what we are. We often remind them and mirror their dark side (I say all this with love, as we have unconsciously agreed - bringing our energy forward - that this is the way our relationship is, in order for us to evolve as their children and for them as our parents and, then, for both of us as human beings within this relationship). In effect, we ought to be grateful towards them.

Unconditional Love is deep, everlasting, and bright, while, at the same time it is not self-centered and demanding. This doesn’t mean that I accept the other person with any behaviour towards me. One thing is “I love you and I will love you”, and, another thing is “I set my limits”. The latter one is positive for both sides because this way we all undertake our responsibilities. Within the energy of Love, I can go on with my life, even if the other person is not part of it. I am well, I am happy for you, but, I also respect who you are - your past (by showing compassion and understanding), while at the same time I respect who I am (therefore showing compassion and understanding towards myself). The ability to love. The case might be that the person I choose to love is not in my life anymore and I feel sad. Shouldn’t I, though, contemplate that if this person hasn’t passed by my life, then, the seed within me would have remained uncultivated? Because we all intend to cultivate the sentimental seeds of others and they do the same with ours, in order to learn how to love. Like flowers and insects do. When we were little, we knew how to love, but, growing up, we seem to forget how to do so and, this is the greatest challenge we are facing: to remember to love in our essence and let to be loved.

Learning how to love truly and essentially needs a lot of training.

I imagine that you are thinking that such a thing doesn’t exist…well, it does exist and it is one of the greatest releases that a human being can experience. Unfortunately though, we are selfish and scared. When this energy came my way and I had to get in the process of this lesson (and I am still at this point), it all sounded Greek to me. Thanks to my teachers and thanks to Energy (Life) that makes sure that challenges of this sort come our way, I have managed to translate some of this Greek.

To the people that have crossed these sacred and difficult paths of self-knowledge and self-therapy, I owe a huge “thank you”. I also need to be thankful to the people who through their behaviour (that from time to time I considered it to be unacceptable) have challenged me again and again to be confronted with this lesson of unconditional Love, of limits and of the solid core. I am grateful.

To conclude, I would like to add a note of optimism. Let’s observe ourselves without feeling guilty or being judgmental and let’s try to walk along with the other person through our fears and the loneliness of our soul in order to reach unconditional Love. Together – this is what makes this journey even more worthwhile. Nobody is superior to somebody else. One helps the other, even if this is not readily perceived.

Some important remarks (from the speech of Thich Nhat Hanh – Being Love):

-         The ability to love others is defined and depends on our ability to love our self.

-         It is not possible to say that we love others if we don’t allow them to be themselves. This is slavery. This holds true for our self too.

Light Love Gratitude

Learn = Leave behind

When something happens to us, it would be good to get a lesson through this experience, otherwise, the pain will not be worthwhile, and the case will definitely be repeated, in order for us to learn our lesson (eventually). Let’s not disillusion ourselves and think that everything will be fine again, unless we want to have disillusions, remain engaged in drama and play the victim. Each one of us makes choices for oneself, and solely for oneself.

See the bigger picture. Things are not what our “humble” mind seems to perceive them. Reality, in the way that each one of us experiences it, is actually owned by our mind. 

To leave a situation behind, we must ground the lesson that accompanies it firstly through the heart (and not through the mind). It is us that have brought trouble in our lives, either consciously or subconsciously, in order to evolve. Every problem is an opportunity, every tear a realization. Still, every laugh is a step closer to our centre.

Welcoming acceptance in our life!

I have never been a fatalist. I have always felt healthier when “I fought”. As years passed by though, I realized that if warfare nourishes you, then, you will attract warlike situations. Pursuing whatever makes you happy in this life, is a blessing. Understanding though when you should stop before wasting all your energy towards this goal, is a matter of maturity and love for our self

There is a thin line between the situation where you should insist on pursuing what you want and the situation where you should stop and accept things as they are. Wise! The ability to accept the course of things and make peace with it is a big advantage…

When we exclude negative feelings like anxiety, selfishness and the habit of having it our way, when we accept that there will be times where we lose (in fact, from a spiritual point of view nobody ever loses) or when we have to deal with a situation differently, when we accept that there is always the right timing for things to ripen, like a fruit that we can savour only when it is ripe, then, we can easily achieve the broadening of our consciousness and of  the way we intervene in our life, being the Creators we are.

This way, we foster our patience, a feature that is getting all the rarer to meet in contemporary people. Another  important thing is that of realizing this way how much we wanted to achieve this goal and that it wasn’t something transient (if this is the case). The advantage of all this? We learn where and how to invest our energy in a more beneficial way. Let’s not forget that energy loss is the main reason for the imbalances and diseases we suffer from.

Releasing myself and accepting all that happens to me and all that I am with confidence, is what makes the whole difference in the world. Our energy is not to be wasted; we are open to the solutions that will come our way, we lead a more tranquil daily life, we empower our core, and, we eventually stop feeling guilty for all those things that have penetrated us unconsciously.

It is a huge relief when we let things take their course or we let them “at random”, even when we are tortured by the circumstances that we would like to change. Humans, you know, want to control everything as this way they feel safe. But, if you let things just happen normally driven by confidence, you can prove to yourself factually that you don’t need to worry about everything, that you show trust to yourself, that you will take the right decision when the time comes, that you will listen to your heart more clearly and that your premonition and your mind will rest for a short while from your thoughts.

Take a deep breath and get rid of the hidden worries inside you. Breathe in the magic of life. Stop fighting for something that cannot change and simply accept it till there is something new to consider. There is always a lesson behind everything, we can always benefit from the situations depending on our point of view. Show patience, even if the path seems long as we never know what to expect next